12 Comments
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🌸AlicetheDragonLover🌸's avatar

I feel like this is terrible. This story definitely needs some work. 😂

Liizan E. Zeitouni's avatar

I think it’s good. Suspenseful

🌸AlicetheDragonLover🌸's avatar

Thanks! Its been a while since I read it over, and that good ol' imposter syndrome is pointing out all the things wrong with it. 🫣😂 Im glad I finally posted it though.

Non-Reformed Bookworm's avatar

Good thought on Peter's beginning.👍

S. O. Sebastian's avatar

Poor Peter is really having one heck of a day

Haniah Avery's avatar

Oohh!!! This is so interesting!

Sydney📖's avatar

okay why have you been holding out on us all so long?!?!? (and please give that imposter syndrome a hard kick in the rear at my bequest because this is a long way from terrible. seriously) You had my heart thumping so fast and it's too late at night for that XDDD I loved it, honestly, and now I have so many questions which, alas, I fear I must wait to be answered! Please tell me this is going to be a whole book that I can put on my shelf and smile fondly at :)

🌸AlicetheDragonLover🌸's avatar

What are your questions though, cuz it might put some cracks in my writers block. 👀

Sydney📖's avatar

* who are the men & why did they want his want Peter's parents dead?

* are his parents actually dead or are they just kidnapped or something? (I thought they were dead, but then it says "missing" which leads to the kidnapping theory)

* how/why does he know the city well "even at night"

*and ofc how he flies :)

I think those are the main ones XD

🌸AlicetheDragonLover🌸's avatar

Well, the men work for a company called The Kronos Corporation (they have a crocodile for their logo, and Kronos means time, so there's the ticking crocodile Hook is afraid of for ya. I thought it was clever 😂)

Why they wanted his parents dead, I have no clue. 😂😂 I'm still figuring that one out. I believe I planned on his parents being alive though. Cuz he's only eleven, that would be mean if I actually killed them. 😂

He knows the city because he lives there. Before discovering Neverland, he's just a normal kid.

Im not completely set on how he flies, I think my plan was he has Pixie Dust inside him or something, because his parents worked for Kronos and did a little experimenting on him that he didnt know about, and that gave him powers. I guess he was also the first 'successful' experiment, and thats why the bad guys want him. I was also going to use the Pixie Dust to explain why he wasnt aging later on. (He does end up growing up, cuz I already had a spin-off series planned 🤪🤣 getting a little ahead of myself there, but i havent figured out yet why he begins aging properly again).

🌸AlicetheDragonLover🌸's avatar

Awww, you are too sweet! I have the beginning of chapter Two, but it hasn't gone any farther than that yet. I may finish it someday, but I dont have much plan to soon, cuz all my other WIP's are calling my name, but once inside have stuff to share I will start sharing the others.